You had NOTHING to worry about so let’s just say that out loud.

As a mom of a toddler, a tween and two teenagers? I will go ahead and tell you that looking back on the Little One Stage? It was a cake walk. With mounds and mounds of any cake I liked. Cake all along my little walk. Cake with sprinkles, even.

I can see the toddler problems and I can see the teen problems. All with the turn of my head. And potty training aint got nothin on these teens.

**and before I go any further, I want to say that my goal here isn’t to be the person who says “take advantage of these days because they go so quickly and you’ll miss them when they are gone”. UGH. How annoying are those comments?!?! PET PEEVE #451 I also don’t want to come across as a know-it-all or send out the message that “babies are easy and teens are hard”. That is NOT my position. EVERY stage is hard. EVERY stage is challenging. But teen challenges? They will knock you on your tush if you’re not careful.

Anyway? Melissa? Do you know how good you had it when you were only worried about Allison having TWO lovies instead of just the one that you WANTED her to have. UGH . Why’d she have to go and do that? Now I have to worry about keeping up with TWO blankies. So annoying.

And…why did someone tell Emily that the balls inside the machines at the Mexican restaurant ARE ACTUALLY GUM and not bouncy balls? Good grief I don’t want her to have gum!!

And…Caroline won’t drink out of the Nuk Learner Sippy Cup!!!  OMG What am I going to do?!  How am I going to get her to drink milk?! 

And now guess what? Here you sit with Josephine and her THREE LOVIES, while she’s watching a show called The Amazing World of Gumball and gripping her ONE half-clean sippy cup that she never drinks milk out of (because she hates milk).

As a Little One Mommy I worry (worried) about naps and will she ever use the potty and what’s that in her hair?

As a Mom of Teens I worry if they’re getting enough sleep, if the movie they want to watch is appropriate and teaching good things/making them think (Good job on reviewing them ALL before they watch and I don’t remember you ever reviewing a Backyardigans episode before you plopped one of those kids in front of the boob tube), and the clothes they want to wear.

Think about it Melissa, in 2005, did you ever fret over your kid running around in just her panties? No. You didn’t. Because who cares? Well guess what? NOW you get to worry about your kid running around in her panties because NOW you care. You don’t WANT your teen doing that.

In 2006, did you ever worry about what friends your preschooler had? Nope. Because you, Melissa, were able to choose those friends through playdates, or church or preschool. Now? You ARE worrying about their friends. The Friend Factor carries a lot of weight these days. They aren’t sharing blocks anymore. They are sharing clothes and music and air pods. They are nearly living at their friends houses and slowly becoming a part of their family as well. Are those families modeling the values that I want my teen to have? Do they speak nicely to their spouse? See? Friends these days are different. They aren’t just preschool buddies. They are meshing in with them. And chances are you owe these parents some money because they have paid for Allison and Emily to eat and get into movies.

I see you Melissa. I see you standing there trying to keep Josie from licking the window at Chick-fil-A. I see you worrying if she has had too much apple juice today and if 8 packs of Annie’s Bunny Gummies are too many.

I also see you worry over your teens and remind them not to vape, to do their homework, to set their alarms, to not smoke weed, to not drink, to not skip class, to put their phones away at 10, to be a good friend, to stand up for what’s right, to be good humans, to not let boys take advantage of them, to not share or take inappropriate pictures, to not pass around juuls, to not even THINK ABOUT vaping, or juuls or drinking (did I already mention that?), to not stay out late, to drive safely, to not have other kids in the car, to pray, to….should I keep going?

Maybe by the time Josephine is a teen you’ll have this all figured out and you’ll be a pro at NOT worrying.

Eh….I doubt that.