ME: Do you like doggies or kitties?
JOSIE: Uh. Spider-man

EMILY: Mom, what’s this?
ME: That’s my Stitch Fix box that I’m sending back.
EMILY: You’re sending it all back? Why?
ME: Yeah. So annoying. They always send me old lady clothes.
EMILY: But. Mom. They have you fill out a survey. Of WHAT YOU LIKE.
ME: …


On our first day in Costa Rica…
CAROLINE: (taking a look around the hotel room) THERE IS A SURFBOARD IN HERE!!
ME: That’s an ironing board.


TONY: oh shit!!!!
ME: Don’t say ‘oh shit’ okay, Josie?
JOSIE: Okay. I juss say shit.


JOSIE: Member we saw dat man in the zungle?
ME: What?
JOSIE: Duh guy in duh zungle. Member Dat?
ME: Oh really? You saw a jungle guy?
JOSIE: Yes! Member! He frow doze balls up and catch dem?
ME: Oh! You mean a juggler!


Passing a BBQ place in the car
Josie sneezes
JOSIE: What dat mell is?
ALLISON: That’s BBQ.
JOSIE: Oh. Well it got a bless you in my nose.


Caroline came to my room after I’d tucked her in and said our three blessings for the day. She climbed up on my bed and said she had something very important to tell me. That she couldn’t sleep until she did. She wanted to tell me all she learned in Spanish that day (her 3rd day of middle school):
CAROLINE: Today we had to write down all the Spanish words we already know so I wrote down ‘queso’ and the numbers 1 through 10.


ALLISON: There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM, but there’s ‘U’ in UGLY.

In the car and Josie is mad at Caroline for some reason:
JOSIE: Cay-nine! I NOT YOU FRIEND!
CAROLINE: You have to be my friend. You’re my sister.
JOSIE: NO! I NOT YOU FRIEND!
CAROLINE: You HAVE to be. It’s a requirement for sisters.
*silence for several minutes*
JOSIE: Okay. FINE! I AM you friend Cay-nine.
CAROLINE: Okay, let’s hold hands.
JOSIE: Cay-nine? You always love me a yot.
CAROLINE: I do.
JOSIE: I always love YOU a yot, too.


ME: Josie? What do you want for Christmas?
JOSIE: Um. How bout dragon eggs? Wiff real dragons? I love me some dragon eggs.


Walking to the bus stop and I point out an ant hill and remind Josie not to step there.
ME: They hurt. Did an ant bite you before?
JOSIE: Yes. Day bite me before. And be-five and be-ten and got out my bluuuuud.