Nov 4, 2018

That time we went to Brasstown Bald

. . . which was yesterday.

My sweet neighbor and friend mentioned that they went to Brasstown Bald and how pretty it was.

And since I’m all about trying to keep up with the neighbors, I decided we were going, too.

So, on Saturday, that’s what we did.  By God.

It’s not too far from our house, but just far enough away that you need a couple of snacks to take along for the car ride.

More snacks than what I packed, but whatever.

My friend didn’t mention any desire for nourishment.

Oh wait.  Actually she did say that they stopped to eat.

Clearly they went a different route than we did because the only restaurant we saw was JR’s Roadkill BBQ and Ribs.

And I don’t really care for ribs so . . . .

We chose to nibble on some goldfish crackers and a granola bar.  Also 7 bottles of water and 1 apple juice.

But I digress. Not the main idea of the story here.

We make it to the visitor center and see that they only take cash.  And seeing as how normal people don’t usually HAVE cash, I had to walk into the general store to purchase the tickets with my debit card instead.

And that, my friends, is where I was SERIOUSLY deceived.  I asked about the shuttle up to the top vs. the trail.  She said the words (please note the quotation marks because this is EXACTLY what she said) . . . .

“Oh the trail is paved and it’s only half a mile! It’s not bad.”

lie: (verb 2)
\ ‘lī  \
to create a false or misleading impression

Also this:

lying by omission:  when a person leaves out important information or fails to correct a pre-existing misconception.

BUT OKAY LADY. 

We started out as The Ants Go Marching Four By Four.

And by thirty seconds into this Half A Mile Paved Trail I’m winded.

We whittle down to The Ants Go Marching Two By Two.

I’m beginning to doubt myself.

We fall to The Ants Go Marching One By One as we are now in a single file line…all spaced out.

But not too far that we can’t hear each other’s moans and grunts.

People we pass? Who are coming down the trail? Those nutballs look at us and say “You’re almost there”.

MORE LIES.

Anyone walking a snail’s pace up a mountain is never “almost there”.

Josie looks up at me and says . . . .  *pant pant puff puff* . . . .   “I too heavy!!”

I know exactly how she feels.  I’m also way too heavy for this steep . . . .  let’s not forget “paved and only half a mile!” . . . .  trail.

Oh.

Well.

Thanks for PAVING IT FOR US!!!

CAN YOU FLATTEN IT FOR US NEXT TIME, TOO?!?

sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger this better be worth it when we get to the top

We all trickled in to the Finish Line slowly.

At least, I *think* we did.  I was basically last so I’m not sure who arrived to the top and when.
I’m going to tell myself that I was only seconds behind the others.

We stopped long enough to catch our breath, take a picture and discuss WHY WE DIDN’T CHOOSE THE SHUTTLE.

Oh.  Because “It’s paved and it’s only half a mile! It’s not bad.”  (Probably a politician working the ticket sales.  Always making things sound way better than they actually are)

Once we reached the top?  It WAS worth it.

And it WAS beautiful.

But guess what stood between us and the tip top lookout?

STAIRS.

Oh lord.  I’m way too heavy for stairs, too.

 

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