Josephine turned three in December and she’s FOR SURE behind on the potty training thing.

No pun intended there.

Some days I just gave up.

Other days? I put her in panties and sent her to Fake School for four hours. Crossing my fingers that she came home dry. AND in the same clothes I sent her in.

One day I did that very thing and when I picked her up? Guess what? She was wearing SOMEONE ELSE’S clothes. Which means…. 1) she dirtied the clothes I put her in. 2). she dirtied the extra set I put in her bag. 3) she dirtied the extra set she keeps at school.

THAT IS THREE ACCIDENTS IF YOU’RE KEEPING UP HERE.

Let’s not forget how she searches for the loophole with this thing. As in, when I say “don’t tee tee on this floor okay?” She will come to me and say, “I did it Mommy! I tee teed and I didn’t do it on dis fwoor! …. I did it on duh wug!”

There’s also this, for example:

Me: (As she’s going back outside to play): Okay! If you have to potty, what are you going to do?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Well. Are you going to tee tee on the driveway?
Her: No! No I not do dat Mommy!
Me: That’s right!! (feeling so happy) Good girl! (gives kisses on her head)
Her: (turns to leave) I gunna tee tee in duh gwass.

So at her last gymnastics class, I took her to the bathroom before class started. She did what she needed to do, opened the stall door for us, we washed her hands and she was on her way to class.

Not ten minutes into class, the teacher yells out “Josie’s mommy?”. I go to her and she says Josie says she has to potty. Okay, weird, but maybe she does.

Go into bathroom. Run through the motions. Nothing doing. She opens the stall door. Back to class.

Another ten minutes later and teacher calls out to me again. Josie has to potty.

Hmm…okay, is this a UTI? Are there some antibiotics in our future?

Go into bathroom. Run through the motions. Nothing doing. She opens the stall door. Back to class.

About another ten minutes go by and GUESS WHAT?

THAT’S RIGHT.

Teacher calls me AGAIN. Josie has to potty.

Into the bathroom we go. Of course? She does nothing. But she says something very interesting…

“I yike open dis baf-woom door all by muh-self.”

SHE WAS ONLY WANTING TO OPEN AND CLOSE THE LATCH ON THE STALL DOOR THE WHOLE TIME.

But! She did make it through another day without an accident. And without peeing in “duh gwass.”

She’s also really good at slide latches now.